Going for the throat...the times, they are a-changin'...various musings on pointless things

Who knew in November, right?

Knee-jerk reaction was at its finest. RepubliTeacanPartiers were promising job growth, smaller government and winning numbers to the Mega Millions drawing; whatever it took for them to get the public to raise their pitchforks and run those Gawd damn-ned Democrats out of office.

And the voting public acquiesced. Suddenly, we had a boatload of fresh faces in various local, state and federal offices and the general consensus of those voters that placed them in office was that things would be different. Things would be fixed...

I am guffawing at this idea as I type.

I'm an independent, pure and simple. Not a Libertarian, a Tea Partier, a Green Jello-er, Coffee Partier, elephant, donkey or any of the remaining excuses we have for folks that supposedly pledge our best interests as a society before their own personal agendas.

Because, personally, I don't like having a black hood draped over my head by any political party in order to keep me blind, which is exactly what the latest crop of "conservatives" has attempted to do since taking office.

Wisconsin...Ohio...anti-abortion bills...healthcare bill repeals...yanking funding from PBS and NPR much like a bad parlor trick.

All of that doesn't resemble job growth and small government to me. It appears more as if they are going for the throat of the American people — attempting to turn the public worker unions into eunuchs, outlawing abortion without actually rescinding Roe vs. Wade and stripping the lifeblood of two news organizations that likely represent the least biased news organizations in the country.

Why the ruckus? The presidency in 2012, that's why. Union's support Democrats, abortion supporters' back Democrats, and NPR and PBS are labeled "liberal," which is synonymous with...

You guessed it...the Democrats. Known in some circles as the "Demoncrats," they aren't innocent in all of this either, nor have been in the past (see: Lyndon B. Johnson, Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton.)

Ah, fuck. Just stop the parade of lies, political charlatans. We'll respect you more if you just tell us face to face that you plan on sucking the marrow from our bones and feeding off our middle-class remains.

Just please give us the reach-around at least after you fuck us in the ass, as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, our beloved senior drill instructor, begged in the past.

The times, they are certainly a-changin'.

The anti-union bills in Wisconsin and Ohio spurred protests at those state's respective capitals and college campuses. Meanwhile, it seems the entire Arab world has opened its eyes and realized that a bevy of tyrannical despots have been running roughshod over that region for years...or is it centuries?...or eons? — thus the multiple revolutions and uprisings.

The Clash, if they were around today, would title the song "Multicultural Riot."

Speaking of musical groups, here is a quick aside. Ohio once again got screwed...neither the Dropkick Murphy's or Tom Morello swung by the Buckeye state to lend their support to protesters like they did in Wisconsin.

Instead, I think Ohio had a barbershop quartet and some half-assed bagpipers. Nice.

Throw in a mulleted hair band while you're at it, or fuckin' Nick Lachey.

Ohio always gets shafted musically. James Brown left King Records in Cincinnati...Reznor left Akron and Cleveland, as did Chrissie Hynde...Manson left...Guided by Voices retired. Now all we have is repetitive emocore from Dayton's Hawthorne Heights.

And fuckin' Nick Lachey.

When country artist Jerry Reed wrote the lyrics "She got the goldmine, I got the shaft," he was waxing poetic about O-H-I-O.

Ok, now back to the original train of thought.

Folks are plain tired. They are tired of the broken record-ness of political systems and tired of lies. They are tired of seeing an elite few reap the rewards from the broken backs of the downtrodden many.

We haven't been this pissed off of a proletariat in a very long time...and 2012 is shaping up as either a beginning of things to come or the end of things as we know it — in more ways than one.

I will leave those ways to your imagination...

Let's get a little more lighthearted now. I'm just going to bitch for bitching sake and rattle off some random musings on pointless things I've read, seen or heard over the past few weeks.

You might as well throw on a swarthy jumpsuit and gold chain, Jim Tressel. Your days of dressing like Pa Cleaver and snookering the Ohio State faithful with your homespun coaching act is over. You bent over backwords to cover your players asses while flipping the bird to the university when it came to properly doing your job — which includes reporting player misconduct. Hmmm...

I now have no doubt that you didn't just throw, but rather violently flung former OSU running back Maurice Clarett under the bus when he raised his allegations about you back in 2003-04. More and more it looks as if the "thuggin' " ex-con from Youngstown was telling the truth about Tressel.

Interesting...we took the word of a white man over that of a black one. No surprise there, but it certainly has caught up to the white man now and deservedly so.

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi has written a "novel." No, strike that. She dictated some ideas to a writer and then slapped her name on the book, which is nothing but a half-hearted attempt to fictionalize her partying exploits with the rest of the cast of "The Neanderthal Shore."

In the novel, there is even a date rape scene where either Polizzi or her hired gun writes that a girl deserved to be raped.

You, Snooki, deserve to be fucking fist-pumped in the face then dropped off in a Hell's Angel's clubhouse in Berdoo. Let's see if you feel the same way and would write the same drivel after that experience.

Have you ever been raped, Snooki? Have you ever had something forcefully taken from you — peace of mind, faith and self-worth — without your consent?

I know you shorts come unzipped easily, tramp, but that doesn't mean every woman's has too.

And folks bought the book. Hemingway is puking in his grave and it makes me think of some graffiti I once read in a gas station restroom.

" 'The Jersey Shore ' gives dagos a bad name." What a contradictory, yet strikingly perfect sentence.

Adrian Peterson, running back for the Minnesota Vikings, compared the labor situation in the National Football League to slavery...this coming from a man who makes multi-millions dressing up like a Road Warrior and carrying an inflated balloon of pigskin.

All on his own accord.

What the fuck did they teach you at the University of Oklahoma, Adrian? That you can volunteer to play a game for more money than a soldier, cop or teacher will make in a lifetime, yet it's on par with slavery?

What a way to piss on your ancestors. Fuck 'em, they're dead right? Who cares what they had to endure...Peterson's football career and future photo-ops on the cover of "Madden" are at stake, dammit!

Is there any wonder we have cults when we have idiots like this running around? Maybe he should marry Snooki...perfect goddamn couple.

Finally, let me briefly place my toes on the bandwagon/car wreck name Charlie Sheen. Nah, forget it.

I can't fault the man for his "Winning" attitude...it's the American way, after all. Blow shit up, regardless of whether it's yourself or other people, and win at all costs. We love watching him self-destruct and honestly don't want a damn soul to intervene and stop it.

As Sensei Kreese said back in 1984, "We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak."

U.S.A., U.S.A!


Onto the flipside,

-Spragoo