Our saintly United States Supreme Court decidedWednesday that the wicked Westboro Baptist
Klan - those most un-Christian of "Christians" -
could freely protest at the solemn funerals of
U.S. military members with their utter garbage
of "God Hates America" and "God Hates Fag
Enablers."
It's their First Amendment right, after all - or so
says the Supreme Court.
I'm ripped in half concerning this conundrum.
There is a reason for this.
As a veteran, it disgusts me to no end what this group of ignorant, hateful people do at the funerals of Americans that paid the ultimate price of death for our country. Yet, as a journalist and staunch supporter of the First Amendment, for me to root for the abolishment of their right to protest and speak - no matter how vile and putrid the rhetoric might be - would be in essence to cheer for the erosion of the basis for my chosen field.
That is the crux of my dilemma...and I'm sure as hell having a hard time staying objective.
So, I won't.
Take the hatred of the Nazi party, the ignorance of the Klu Klux Klan, the theocratic nonsense of Al-Qaeda and mix it up in a blender. Now let it sit in the sun for two days and spoil.
BOOM! You have Fred Phelps and his lobotomized minions spouting their most-definitely-not-the-word-of-God drivel.
Did you stop and think, Phelps, you convoluted bastard, just why in the hell you are protesting the very defenders of every freedom you live and breathe daily?
Do you think that Matthew Snyder and his other fallen comrades whose funerals you sullied only fought for homosexuals, Catholics and Jewish folks?
No.
They fought for you and your insidious klan of heathens.
I say "klan" because I refuse to call you a "church." In places titled "churches," they teach things such as the following...
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." - John 13:34-35
Guess that doesn't really make you disciples or God's authority on much of anything, does it Mr. Phelps?
Send us a postcard from Hell when you and the kinfolk get there, Fred.
Let us know if global warming is having its effects there, too.
Speaking of homosexuals...
I visited my first gay bar last week, to assist a dear friend of mine in celebrating her birthday. It just so happened that a drag show was the entertainment of the evening, so it was a double-first for me...popping my cherry in the LGBTQ world, so to speak.
Talk about a convivial atmosphere!
An electic mix of shiny, happy people it was. I observed no mean-mugging, no fisticuffs, no arguments and some pretty stellar dances moves from the queens.
Throw in cheap beer and no wannabe Ronnie's from "Jersey Shore" and all in all it was a good time. Hell, I even got hit on by more men in one night than I have women in the past six months - sad but true.
Even a drag queen took her shot at me, which brought the biggest laught of the night.
Here is the scene...I'm outside on the front porch of the bar, killing myself slowly with the not-so-sweet smoke of a Marlboro when the following exchange occurs with an old drag queen - whom already had informed me that she wanted to have my fourth child after hearing me explain to another gent that I was straight and a father of three.
Drag queen: "So, now do I get to touch your dick?"
Me: (roars of laughter) "You are cracking me up."
Drag queen: "No, seriously. The two lesbians over there are busy making out and she (referring to a drunk passed out on a bench) is out of it. So, do I get to touch your dick?"
Me: (blushing brighter than Mephisto) "Ummmm...unfortunately, no."
Heavens to Betsy, what a way to close out the night, right? Quite flattering, I do have to say.
But goddamn, could a woman say that to me? Puh-leeze?
Ah, now for more insanity...
I work a second job in addition to being a hack journalist, as a rent-a-cop - I prefer the title "Centurion" - for Duke Energy in the downtown 'Nati.
And no, I can't help you with your electric bill.
Anyways, we have a camera in an alleyway next to the building that we monitor. It has a dumpster and heating grate that has quickly become the hottest night spot in Cincinnati outside of wherever the fuck George Clooney is filming. It has attracted a literal horde of bums.
Bums who over the past two nights have shit, pissed, masturbated and fought in the alleyway...which I now refer to as Golgotha.
It's a gathering of drunken rummies that have turned an alley into a microcosm of society today...the basest of human instincts in action.
It's amazing, hilarious and truly sad to watch.
It makes me wonder where we, as human beings, are really going and what we are.
We may never know.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my real "reality" TV viewing of homelessness and poverty.
-Spragoo
"He who makes a beast of himself relieves himself the pain of being a man." - Hunter S. Thompson
