Voter-5 is alive...the more things change, the more of the same lecherous bullshit....George Hamilton, new speaker of the house

Ah, no more fucking campaign commercials to worry about.

You know you are all thankful for that. It tires the human eyes when we are barraged with a torrent of politicians flagellating each other for two months straight on television.

Now we can peacefully go back to our "Dancing With The Stars." No more visions of Strickland dancing through our heads, eating babies, stealing jobs and having raunchy intercourse with illegals.

That's all Democrats do, right? Or so media leads us to believe.

Much like the old robot Johnny-5 from the film "Short Circuit", Voter-5 was alive last night in the case of Ohio Rep. Connie Pillich and Cincy Tea Party founder and porn aficionado Mike Wilson.

The street fight over the 28th District seat in Ohio's House of Representatives came down to a five vote difference. Five voters that felt Connie Pillich's proclivity for child labor was a lesser evil than Wilson's grand plan to change the state song to "I'm a Little Teapot."

Five votes. The size of a basketball team. And, surely, a result that neither candidate wanted to deal with.

Automatic recount, anyone?

Victory can't be celebrated, nor can defeat be mourned.

There will be absentee ballots still coming in, provisional ballots, messages in bottles, telegraphs, etc., etc., etc.

All needing to be counted.

Nothing will be decided for at least a week.

And the voters of Ohio's 28th district will have the political equivalent of blue balls.

For Pillich, her tenuous grip on what power a state rep has rides on this. Wilson, meanwhile, is looking at the incineration of his short political career if he loses.

He is a flavor of the month, and the Repub's probably consoled him, pumped him up with the fallback of the recount and surely questioned the integrity of the vote count.

Should he lose, however, his usefulness will be done and he will be tossed to the curb like a rotten bag of trash.

Thanks for the mid-term excitement, Mikey boy. Now step back and let us professional thieves get back to work, after we hijacked your grassroots uprising.

Well, the Repub's dominated the election. Doesn't really make a fucking bit of difference, does it?

Instead of cat burglars, we now have armed robbers in office.

But hey wasn't that a cool sticker we got for voting?

Looks like George Hamilton, er, ahem, I mean John (Boner) Boehner will be the next speaker of the house.

Perfect choice, actually. He is the epitome of Americana....

Blow-dried, fake-baked and cutthroat.

God shed His grace on thee.

Spragoo