Mr. Self-Destruct.....Turkey Lurkey......nice comeback, Hudy

Ah, it's been an interesting few weeks since I last regaled you with my prose....

I quit my job as a 911 dispatcher. I gave absolutely no notice, no hints of warning, nothing.

Just gave 'em the word an hour before my shift was slated to start, then proceeded to stuff my fuckin' face at Golden Corral with the free veteran's meal.

Now I only have a part-time job and added about a pound of cholesterol to my bloodstream. Just call me Mr. Self-Destruct.

Guess I should begin taste testing different brands of Alpo.....figure out which one suits my palette the best. It may very well be all I can afford here soon.

Not to justify my insanity at quitting a government job, but I really couldn't pull it off anymore. Going stretches of 48 hours without sleep, watching my grades suffer and my writing decline, was just not my idea of good times.

I'm not proud enough to raise the white flag when it needs to go up....my body was the Alamo and it was being overrun, without a doubt.

So the fat is in the fire, as HST used to say. My career is my writing. Whether I'll be damned for it is yet to be seen.

Thanksgiving, or what passes for a family holiday, was Thursday. Just a few observations from the day that signals the retail world's apocalypse...

-There is always family drama. Either too many liquid spirits flow or someone is still jilted due to a perceived slight from the year prior.

-Every family has an uncle (or someone who might as well be an uncle) who still insists on wearing sweatpants and sporting a perm/mullet to dinner. Odds are they also listen to Scorpions and Accept on a MP3 player, not an IPod.

-All sorts of monstrosities are planned for the leftover turkey, from turkey a la king to turkey lurkey (fuck if I know what that is), turkey casserole, turkey mush, etc. This makes me feel so sorry for turkeys....they are the most mutated, bludgeoned poultry dish in the history of mankind.

-Everyone watches shitty football games.

-Some unbutton their pants when they shouldn't.

-You don't eat turkey again for a damnable year, once you have fought your way through eating the mutated turkey recipes.

I have to commend the Hudepohl Brewing Company outta Cincy. Purveyors of such fine bottled piss as Hudy Delight and Hudy 14-K, they have ventured from the 50's to the present with a new brew - Hudepohl Amber Lager.

I made it through a six-pack without choking my vomit back down. My tongue didn't shrivel and fall off, either.

And, truly, it was better than Killian's Irish Red.

Anyone who has an inkling of knowledge of Cincinnati beers, besides the heavenly Christian Moerlein, knows that the rest - Hudepohl, Burger, Little Kings, Schoenling - were nothing but the city's version of Steel Reserve.

Kerosene, arsenic and elephant piss.

So, it's nice to see Hudepohl steal a page from Dominoes and upgrade a little. In a town with a 2-9 football juggernaut, impending cop and firemen layoffs, a Jesus-savior streetcar and multi-million dollar stadium deficits, it's pleasing to see that something can be done fucking right.

Selah,
Spragoo